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Unveiling the Tiara Yachts EX 54: A Comprehensive Review

• By Chris Caswell
• August 30, 2024

Tiara Yachts entered new territory with its EX 60 last year , and its EX 54 follows that same magic in a smaller package. Like the EX 60, the EX 54 has modular seating in the cockpit, allowing each owner to tailor the yacht to a specific mission.

My educated guess says that the Lounge module will be the most popular, with a pair of settees facing across a folding teak table. Not only does this setup make for great alfresco entertaining, but the aft settee also incorporates a sink, grill, fridge and optional ice maker across the transom.

The Adventure module has fishing written all over it, replacing the aft settee with more foot space and a console with five rod holders, tackle lockers, a cutting board and a sink.

The last module is the Glass Patio, which replaces the backrest of the aft settee with a laminated glass bulkhead so guests (and parents) can keep an eye on the watery action off the stern. I’d recommend the optional hydraulic platform (a 5-foot platform is standard) with steps descending into the water and built-in chocks to stow a tender. All the cockpit modules raise electrically to reveal a garage for water toys and gear.

Like many powerboats these days, the Tiara EX 54 has foldout hullsides to create extended cockpit space, but Tiara goes further with flush-mounted boarding doors on each side. This design makes for easy step-aboard access while leaving nothing to stub toes with the sides folded down.

Forward of the seating modules and up two steps on the mezzanine level is an aft-facing table with twin hassocks (with stowage). Forward of that and to port, with an electrically disappearing window, a pair of stools create a salon-facing bar. The adjacent two-panel sliding doors can open the salon entirely to the cockpit.

In the salon, which has a Herculan teak sole, a convertible dinette to port forms a berth by lowering the high-gloss teak table. (It’s the same size as the one on the EX 60.) The galley is fitted out for cruising, with a two-burner Kenyon induction cooktop, cookware, a microwave/convection oven, a two-drawer fridge and a stainless-steel sink. Behind the galley countertop is a pop-up 43-inch TV that faces the lounge. The absence of overhead cabinets makes for a panoramic view, with stowage in drawers and lockers.

Just forward, the skipper can use the sliding pilothouse door for easy side-deck access. This, along with a clever outboard sliding armrest on the Stidd double-wide helm seat, lets the skipper stand on the side deck and use the Volvo Penta joystick for docking. Overhead is a Webasto electric sunroof.

The dash is fitted with Volvo Penta’s Glass Cockpit, including two 22-inch Garmin GPSMap 8622 displays and a row of backlit buttons for systems. The equipment includes a Garmin autopilot, Fantom 54 radar, VHF radio and aft-facing cockpit camera.

Opposite the helm is a double-wide companion seat that, at the push of a button, slides aft so everyone can join in the action while running to the next waypoint. The seat also slides forward to create a U-shaped dinette. That companion seat has a console with an optional Garmin GPSMap 8622.

Step down into the airy, bright atrium from salon level, and a door leads forward from the foyer to the VIP stateroom with a walk-around island queen berth. It lifts to reveal lighted stowage for suitcases. A door allows private access to the guest head—also off the foyer—with a VacuFlush head and stall shower. Across the foyer is a second stateroom, ideally for kids, with bunk berths.

The full-beam owner’s stateroom is aft with 6-foot-​5-inch headroom and a queen-size pedestal berth. The EX 54 that I got aboard had the full bureau to starboard. (A settee is optional.) The space had 23 drawers for extended cruising, plus a cedar-lined hanging locker like the ones in the other staterooms. A GE washer-dryer was tucked away in the passageway to this stateroom, and the private head included a Lacava vessel sink, stowage and a stall shower.

Going forward on deck is made secure by solid coamings capped by stainless-steel rails. The bow area has a multiuse lounge with sun pads and a removable table. The all-chain windlass is tucked under a hatch, with a wired remote as well as helm controls. I liked the two walkways on each side of the windlass locker, allowing deck crew to look down securely on the anchor.

Power for the EX 54 is twin Volvo Penta IPS2 950 diesels paired to pod drives, and the engine room is clearly arranged for service techs or hands-on owners. A five-step ladder leads down from the cockpit, and everything from the oil changers and seacocks to the 13.5 kW Onan genset is readily accessible.

Underway, the EX 54 is pure fun. We started our runs in smooth water on the Intracoastal Waterway, where I checked a 33.7-knot top speed and indulged in some doughnuts and swoops. I recorded just 70 decibels at full throttle with the sunroof open, making conversation easy. Once offshore, the yacht’s fine entry and 14-degree transom deadrise handled the lumpy Gulf Stream, throwing spray far to the side and providing a smooth, predictable, stable ride. I didn’t need handrails, but I did take note that Tiara has provided a plethora of them, often neatly concealed (next to the forward sun pad, for example).

Whether for entertaining, cruising with friends, fishing or simply enjoying the water, the Tiara Yachts EX 54 can be tailored to fit many owners’ ideas of fun.  

This second-generation Volvo Penta diesel IPS2 950 pod-drive system punches out 750 hp, driving through a 1.7:1 gearbox with a jack shaft that allows the engines to sit closer to the center of the yacht. With Volvo’s P4 props, cruise speed was 26 knots for a range of about 300 nautical miles.  

Built To Take It

The EX 54 has a no-wood hull. The yacht’s hull, deck and topsides are backed by closed-cell foam coring that provides strength as well as soundproofing. A fiberglass grid supports the engines and interior, adding strength and rigidity. 

Garmin Glass Cockpit

Optimized for use with Volvo Penta power, this user-friendly interface combines navigation (a chart plotter, GPS, sonar and radar) with operations (engine data and multitouch systems screens). Preloaded with BlueChart G3 coastal charts, it provides detail to 1 foot with contours for fishing, as well as depth shading and shallow-water warnings.

Take the next step: tiarayachts.com

• More: July 2024 , Reviewed , Tiara , Tiara Yachts , Yacht Reviews , Yachts
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$3.5M luxury yacht built by West Michigan company like a ‘high-end home on the water’

• Updated: Mar. 17, 2022, 1:43 p.m.
• | Published: Mar. 17, 2022, 10:10 a.m.

• Brian McVicar | [email protected]

HOLLAND, MI — Inside Tiara Yachts, amid a whir of cranes, trucks and machinery, Thomas Slikkers climbs aboard a prototype of his company’s newest luxury watercraft, the EX 60.

Today, the 60-foot vessel is still a work in progress. Its hull is unpainted. The cockpit, engine and navigation system have yet to be installed. But Slikkers, Tiara’s president and CEO, lights up with excitement as he describes the high-end flourishes that will make his company’s newest creation akin to a “high-end home on the water.”

“It really is our greatest hits,” he said.

With a roughly $3.5 million price tag, the EX 60 will feature a customizable cockpit with plush seating, an outdoor breakfast bar, and two bathrooms. It boasts a well-appointed kitchen, and the propulsion system has extras such as assisted docking. Below deck, three sleeping areas can accommodate six adults.

For more than 60 years, the Slikkers family has been making boats in Holland — and the EX 60 is its biggest and most expensive boat yet.

The family’s start in the boating business dates back to 1955 when Leon Slikkers, Thomas Slikkers’ father, left his job at Chris-Craft Boats to start Slickcraft Boat Company. He funded the venture by selling his family’s home for $5,000 and using the proceeds to buy materials and rent space on Washington Avenue near downtown Holland. Then, he moved his family into an apartment above his new shop.

Launching the business was a gamble. But Leon Slikkers found success with the 16-foot Slickcraft premier. Featuring a molded mahogany plywood hull, the 16-foot vessel sold for $1,165 in 1958. By the late 1960s, the company had grown in popularity, and Slikkers sold his business to American Machine and Foundry.

But Leon Slikkers, whose family describes him as a “true entrepreneur,” soon craved independence.

In 1973, he resigned as president of Slickcraft, and the following year he launched S2 Yachts, the parent company of Tiara Yachts.

“It had very small, humble beginnings,” Thomas Slikkers said. “But within a short period of time, my dad was able to convince people that we’ve got a great product here.”

Today, the private, family-owned company has grown substantially.

Inside its headquarters, 725 E. 40th St., 600 employees design, build and sell yachts. The company’s boats, the least expensive of which retails for more than $500,000, are sold to customers throughout the U.S. as well as Central America, South America, the Caribbean, Italy and elsewhere. Its biggest markets are the U.S. and portions of Latin America.

“Wherever there’s big blue water, that’s usually a good market for us,” said Slikkers, who grew up with the business but officially joined Tiara Yachts in 1982 as an accounting clerk.

The EX-60, which has been in the works for 1 ½ years, is still under development, but the prototype is slated to be complete by mid-August and available to customers later this year. The company has a focus on luxury, and high-end features that create a comfortable, quiet experience for customers.

“We want you to enjoy nature, and enjoy the sounds of nature — not the sounds of our diesel engines,” said Andrew Bartlett, Tiara’s director of design.

Walking through the company’s cavernous factory, where about 400 workers create the yachts, Slikkers describes the craftsmanship that Tiara prides itself upon. Nearly everything on each yacht, from its furniture to its kitchen cabinets, are made in house. Engines that power Tiara’s boats are made by outside companies, such as Volvo Penta and Mercury.

Workers at Tiara can produce about one boat a day, Slikkers said.

On a recent afternoon, as a worker inside the factory inspected a 43-foot LS yacht, Slikkers said his company’s production line is not unlike an automotive assembly line. The process starts with the hull, the body of the boat, and about halfway through the deck is added. Later, chairs, furniture, paneling and interior fixtures are installed.

Finally, the vessel is painted, and put on a truck for delivery, he said.

“It hasn’t been painted yet,” Slikkers said, as he pointed to the 43-foot LS yacht. “So, it’s not as pretty as it’s going to be.”

Tiara Yachts, located at 725 E. 40th St. in Holland, on Thursday, March 10, 2022. (Cory Morse | MLive.com)

While Tiara has evolved, adding new models, production techniques and automation, the company has stayed true to its roots as a family-owned company, Slikkers said. Walk inside Tiara Yachts, and you might bump into one of his six family members who work there.

His brother David serves as director of government relations, while his brother Bob is senior vice president of operations. His son Alex is a sales and marketing specialist, and two of his nephews, Tim and Kelly, also call Tiara yachts home. Kelly’s wife, Tiffany, has joined the family business too. She works in human resources.

That level of family involvement creates a bond that isn’t present in every business, said Slikkers, whose father, Leon, retired from Tiara in September.

“We aren’t trying to make sure that we’ve got a golden parachute tucked in the back corner in case we ever need to jettison at the first sign of trouble,” he said. “We’re the guys that are still driving the ship when she’s taking on water.”

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Mirabella 1996 | 43' Tiara Yachts 43 Open Saltwater Fishing for Sale

1996 tiara yachts, 43' (13.11m) 43 open - mirabella, "mirabella" is a rugged 43 tiara open featuring 550hp 6v92 detroits (800 hrs smoh) cruising her at 24kts.  other notable features include 75k + garmin electronics package and helm re-wiring 2023, helm deck ac and heat, genset, inverter, tuna tower, riggers, anchor windlass, all batteries replaced 20.

• North Quincy Massachusetts United States
• Fiberglass Hull

$ 199,900 USD

€ 181,219 euros $ 271,256 cad.

• EMAIL BROKER

Description

New Garmin Electronics Package and Helm Re-wiring / Custom Dash 2023 - Over 75k Invested

(2) 17" Garmin Plotter, Radar, Bottom Machine, Video, Systems Monitor

(2) 8" Garmin Plotter, Radar, Bottom Machine, Video, Systems Monitor

Garmin Autopilot

Fusion Stereo

Recessed Hardtop Lights on Dimmer Switches

Helm Deck AC and Heat

Center Windshield Power Actuated

Salon / Dinette

Teak and Holly Sole

L-Shaped Settee to Port, Converts to Bunks

Recessed LED Lighting

(2) Deck Hatches with Screens and Shades

32" Smart TV - 2023

U-Shaped Dinette with Table, Converts to Berth, Sleeps 2

Dedicated Zone of Heat and AC

Cabinet Storage

Book Shelf Speakers

AC DC Master Panel

Throw Pillows

Sub Zero Fridge and Freezer

Teak and Holly Sole

Microwave Convection Oven

Stainless Sink

3 Burner Cooktop

Drawer Storage

Separate Shower Stall

Vacuflush Fresh Water Head

AC / Heat Blower

Master Stateroom

Dedicated Zone of AC and Heat

Centerline Tapered Queen with Storage Underneath

Deck Hatch with Screen and Shade

Recessed Lighting

Cedar Lined Hanging Locker

Mechanical / Electrical

Twin 6v92 550hp Detroit Diesels 2800 hrs total, 800 SMOH

24kt Cruise @ 1950, 42 GPH

Racor Filters

Dripless Shaft Logs

Water Maker

Steering Piston Replaced 2018

Hot Water Heater Replaced 2022

Phasor Diesel Generator with 1050 hours

Heart Interface Inverter

Centaur Battery Charger

50 Amp Shore Service

(2) House Batteries Replaced 2022

(3) Engine Start Batteries Replaced 2024

Helm Deck AC / Heat

Helm Deck Wet Bar with Sink and Ice Maker

Power Reel Outlets

Tuna Tower with Wheel and Controls, Sun Shade

Out Riggers

(4) Side Enclosure

Transom Door

Swim Platform

Cockpit Coaming Padding

Glendenning Cord Reel

Power Actuated Center Windshield at Helm

(4) Gunwale Rod Holders

Tower Rocket Launchers

Tower Spreader Lights

Anchor Windlass

Cockpit Cover

LOA: 43' " (13.11 Meters)

Type: Power - Used

Beam: 15' 2"

Bridge Clearance: ' "

Draft Max: 4' 5"

Draft Min: ' "

Maximum Speed: Knots

Cruise Speed: 24 Knots

• Fuel Type: Diesel

Hull Material: Fiberglass

Fuel Tank: Gallons ( Liters)

Fresh Water: Gallons ( Liters)

Holding Tank: Gallons ( Liters)

Full Details

Listing MLS by Yachtr.com

• Engine Make: Detroit
• Engine Model: 6V92
• Engine Year:
• Engine Type: Inboard
• Drive Type: Direct
• Power HP: 550.00
• Hours: 800.00

Click any image to view enlarged version. Swipe enlarged image to see additional enlarged images.

Contact Broker

For more information about this yacht please contact Curtis Stokes and Associates, Inc. We look forward to working with you!

Want more information about this yacht?

Curtis stokes & associates.

Suite168 --> Fort Lauderdale, FL Phone: 1-954-684-0218 Toll Free: 1-855-266-5676 Fax: 1-954-807-1445 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.curtisstokes.net

Curtis Stokes and Associates, Inc. is a yacht brokerage firm consisting of nine offices and fifty brokers throughout the United States offering worldwide marketing, buyer brokerage services and yacht charters. We also specialize in marketing and selling Great Loop capable yachts and boats.

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1999 Tiara Yachts 43 Open

The 1999 Tiara Yachts 43 Open is currently available for sale in Holland Michigan. This boat has a price of $249,900. Our team at Seattle Yachts is here to help you find the right boat for your needs, budget, and style. We have access to boats off the market that will never be seen online, so contact us today with your interest.

Price: $249,900

SPECIFICATIONS

Listing MLS by Yachtr.com

For more information on this yacht, please contact us..

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Mirabella | 43' 1996 Tiara Yachts

Listed at $199,900

Interested in this yacht contact us.

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Available for Sale Mirabella 43' 1996 Tiara Yachts  

New Garmin Electronics Package and Helm Re-wiring / Custom Dash 2023 - Over 75k Invested

(2) 17" Garmin Plotter, Radar, Bottom Machine, Video, Systems Monitor

(2) 8" Garmin Plotter, Radar, Bottom Machine, Video, Systems Monitor

Garmin Autopilot

Fusion Stereo

Recessed Hardtop Lights on Dimmer Switches

Helm Deck AC and Heat

Center Windshield Power Actuated

Salon / Dinette

Teak and Holly Sole

L-Shaped Settee to Port, Converts to Bunks

Recessed LED Lighting

(2) Deck Hatches with Screens and Shades

32" Smart TV - 2023

U-Shaped Dinette with Table, Converts to Berth, Sleeps 2

Dedicated Zone of Heat and AC

Cabinet Storage

Book Shelf Speakers

AC DC Master Panel

Throw Pillows

Sub Zero Fridge and Freezer

Microwave Convection Oven

Stainless Sink

3 Burner Cooktop

Drawer Storage

Separate Shower Stall

Vacuflush Fresh Water Head

AC / Heat Blower

Master Stateroom

Dedicated Zone of AC and Heat

Centerline Tapered Queen with Storage Underneath

Deck Hatch with Screen and Shade

Recessed Lighting

Cedar Lined Hanging Locker

Mechanical / Electrical

Twin 6v92 550hp Detroit Diesels 2800 hrs total, 800 SMOH

24kt Cruise @ 1950, 42 GPH

Racor Filters

Dripless Shaft Logs

Water Maker

Steering Piston Replaced 2018

Hot Water Heater Replaced 2022

Phasor Diesel Generator with 1050 hours

Heart Interface Inverter

Centaur Battery Charger

50 Amp Shore Service

(2) House Batteries Replaced 2022

(3) Engine Start Batteries Replaced 2024

Helm Deck AC / Heat

Helm Deck Wet Bar with Sink and Ice Maker

Power Reel Outlets

Tuna Tower with Wheel and Controls, Sun Shade

Out Riggers

(4) Side Enclosure

Transom Door

Swim Platform

Cockpit Coaming Padding

Glendenning Cord Reel

Power Actuated Center Windshield at Helm

(4) Gunwale Rod Holders

Tower Rocket Launchers

Tower Spreader Lights

Anchor Windlass

Cockpit Cover

26 North Yachts is pleased to assist you in the purchase of this vessel. This boat is centrally listed by Smith Yacht Sales. It is offered as a convenience by this broker/dealer to its clients and is not intended to convey direct representation of a particular vessel

Specifications

Listing MLS by Yachtr.com

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so that musical…

Hello everybody… guess where I am right now? Yes, I’m home already, and Yes, that means I didn’t actually post anything for the last two weeks of my program. But don’t worry, the posts will still come. I have lots more to talk about, including:

• the musical I was in (that’s what this post is for)
• my trip to St. Petersburg
• wrapping up classes
• saying goodbye to literally everyone

…just be prepared to wait a little between posts.

So, the musical. As you may remember, I was talked into participating in a musical by my friend Ksenia, the director of USTU’s vocal studio. I say “talked into,” because I actually wasn’t as enthusiastic about saying “yes” to this project as I usually am. Because I am not an actress, and I am certainly no good substitute for Stevie Wonder.

Oh yes, that’s right, the musical was based on original translations of Stevie Wonder songs into Russian.

Rehearsals started in February, as Ksenia arranged vocals. 90% of rehearsals at this time were the background vocalists learning weird harmonies and trying to sing them tightly and together.

Then, at some point, we introduced acting to the mix. That went… interestingly.

As we drew near to the time of the show, everything got crazy. We realized just how unprepared we were, the director started to actually despair that Gerar and I would  ever act like the besotten young couple we were supposed to be, and the musical director started to wonder if she shouldn’t have spent more time teaching us to sway our hips convincingly while singing backup. But, in the end, of course, everything went off just fine…

Fine enough, in fact, that the rector (who had been unavailable for the university’s  first ever musical … something about a basketball tournament in St. Petersburg…) requested a repeat. And because he’s the rector, we complied.

I was gone in St. Petersburg for the whole week between the two performances, meaning I missed the rehearsals in between, but stress? What’s that? I was super chill about the second performance, and I enjoyed it a lot more than the first. This is partly because the temperature in the hall was about 70 degrees F as opposed to the 85 it had been during the first run (and if you’ve ever performed in a fleece Snuggie under stage lights in an 85 degree room, you know exactly how uncomfortable the first performance was).

I’ve attached here a few pictures of me from the second performance, but if you want to browse more, check this link .

We ended up getting good press, and overall, I’d say a success for the American in the far north, and an even bigger success for my costars who had actual classes/exams going on the whole time.

And, most importantly, I came out of it with a few more friends and a lot more memories.

things I wish I’d known: may

May is over, and I have set a new record for bad blogging habits! I have a lot of posts in mind, including that one I’ve been promising about the musical I’m in, so hopefully you’ll be seeing those trickle out in the days to come. However, I will warn you: I have 10 days left in Ukhta, and I don’t plan on spending any time in front of the computer that I could be spending elsewhere.

So without further ado, this month, I wish I’d known…

• that May does not exist. Everything you plan to do in May may not actually happen. You will get to the end of the month and not remember it at all.
• that there are exactly three weeks when it is pleasant to be outside, because about that long after the snow melts/mud evaporates, the mosquitoes come out. Take advantage of these three weeks.
• how dastardly bloodthirsty Russian mosquitoes are. My. Goodness. Douse yourself in bugspray before you leave the house.
• that Russian pharmacists don’t know what hydrocortisone is, so bring your own, for those places you didn’t douse in bugspray.
• that your musical isn’t over until the rector says it’s over. (i.e. you think you only have one performance, but don’t count on it — remember about Russians and planning things in advance?)
• that fill-in-the-blank questions with multiple choice on the final exam doesn’t mean your students will be any less stressed or any more successful. Therefore have only short answers and oral testing…?
• that you may not actually want to leave town in May, so plan your travel for those weird fall/winter months when you had no work and no friends and no sunlight.
• that it’s 100% possible to sleep through white nights if your curtains are decent. All curtains in Ukhta are decent. Never fear.
• that a watch is super necessary up here, because telling time by daylight literally doesn’t work at all.
• that everything ends really quickly. Do laundry in advance.

things I wish I’d known: april

This month went even faster than last month… is that possible? But I can’t deny the passage of time, because somehow all the snow is melted, and the ground is starting to warm up, and there’s  grass in some places, and  dandelions in others (never thought I’d be so happy to see dandelions), and also the sky doesn’t get all the way dark till ~11pm, and also it starts getting light again at ~1am (what is this place). Every day feels a little bit warmer, a little bit longer, a little bit closer to the end, a little bit further away from the beginning.

All that drama aside, here’s what I learned this month, that I wish I’d known earlier:

• that it  does get warm in Ukhta, and I  should  bring clothing appropriate to sunny and 60s.
• that there  are nice grassy fields in Ukhta, and I  should bring clothing appropriate to frolicking/grass-sitting.
• that reading an email is not the same thing as replying to it, no matter how it seems at the time (apologies to everyone who has been victim of this).
• how absurdly hot it is in Russian trains, especially on the top bunk in platzkart. Get the bottom bunk.
• that some schools do still carry on the hiring process into May, so not having applications finished in February is not a reason to stress out.
• that the ice here turns to mud when it melts, which then turns into sand when it dries, creating a South-Africa-like effect of dust blowing everywhere.
• that I won’t want to travel the last month of my grant, so I should get all that out of the way in the first semester, before I put down roots here.
• how seriously Russians take the idea of walking around barefoot/in socks as a potential cause of illness (even if this walking takes place exclusively indoors). This is a fact that can be used to comic effect, unless I am in fact sick, in which case they will tell me it’s  because  I walked barefoot, even though it’s probably because I was sharing hot recycled air with fifty people and zero circulation on a train for 11 hours.
• that potatoes can, in fact, go (very) bad in the space of 10 days, even in a dark cool cupboard… and this is, in fact, the source of that fish smell I keep smelling.
• that it’s really embarrassing when my friends are playing keep-it-up and I’m incapable of keeping-it-up, so I should probably take gym class more seriously (this is a “wish I’d known 15 years ago” thing, sorry if it’s not too relevant to any of you).

on the rails again

This week, Vickie and I went to Ukhta State Technical University’s “filial” (partner university? satellite campus?) in Usinsk. This is pronounced Oo-sin-sk (only two syllables, but separated for easier reading). Usinsk is… tiny. Like, we walked from the center to the edge in about 20 minutes. We drove around the entire city (all four streets) in about 30 minutes. But it’s also quite cute, and there’s a nice forest. There’s also a nice 600-student, single-building university, which is the actual reason we went: to teach! (It’s almost like that’s our job or something.)

But first, I want to talk about the  going … the train.

Last time Vickie and I took the train, you’ll remember , it was a 32-hour ride from Moscow to Ukhta, about 96 hours after entering the country. We had a nice (only mildly traumatic, and maximally sedated) experience in  kupe (4-person private cabin).

This time, we had a nice (still only mildly traumatic, although less sedated) experience in  platzkart (open, barracks-style car). We took the fast train there (10 hours) and the slow train back (12 hours).

The Good: Lots of time to sleep, no creepy guys in our immediate vicinity, no drunk people anywhere we could tell. …And, on the way back, our neighbor from the dormitory was just a few bunks down from us! The Bad: SO HOT. I can’t even describe it. Okay fine, it was only 80 degrees F, but there was literally no movement of air, and a whole lot of people… especially on the top bunk, breathing isn’t really a thing that happens. Also, we had one cabin-mate whose snore resembled the revv of a chainsaw. So the “lots of time to sleep” didn’t exactly translate into “sleep.” The Amusing: “Katie, the bathroom is so great!! It has  toilet paper. ” –Standards.

Once in the city, we got settled into our apartment-hotel. I have no pictures, sorry, but I can give you the Good, Bad, and Amusing of it…

The Good: Beds! Hot shower! Functional kitchen! The Bad: Have you ever seen  The Irony of Fate ? …yeah. The first night we spent about 30 minutes trying to find the right place, then about 15 trying to get the key to work in the door when we’d found it. Turns out we were still in the wrong building. I at that point was mildly feverish with a headache and sore throat, and Vickie also had a migraine, and we were carrying ~7kg of groceries, and basically we were a sight to be seen. The Amusing: Trying to leave a note for our roommates telling them they could help themselves to our pasta… while slightly delirious and with no good sense of Russian whatsoever.

We had classes with the university students…

The Good: My class on Wednesday had only eight students, so we could play games, and they could all have a chance to talk! The Bad: Only two of the eight  wanted to talk. Too bad for the others, because I didn’t take a 10-hour ride in a fiery furnace just to watch people stare silently at me for two hours. The Amusing:  At the English Club meeting on Tuesday, Vickie and I started (as usual) in English. This was met with much and vocal protest, and pleas to answer their questions in Russian. We, receiving affirmation from the authorities there, did so. We heard later that the students had complained that they “expected us to speak English with them, but we only spoke Russian the whole time!” Okay.

We also got to see some of the  dostoprimechatel’nosti  (tourist sights) of the town.

The Good: Nice weather,  flowers , an interesting tour guide (hi Olga!) The Bad: I was sick the whole time and carrying an enormous backpack for part of it, so I was kind of grumpy. The Amusing: Can we just talk about the mosquito monument?

Among the other  dostoprimechatel’nosti , we got to see the forest in Usinsk. The idea was, I think, to take a nice, brisk walk… which turned into more of a run/quick tramp for us. But we lived. And the forest is beautiful.

The Good: Beautiful nature, beautiful dog. The Bad: Vickie falling into the snow, my feet freezing. The Amusing: Yeah, that hole in the ice? Olga literally went swimming in it, then we walked for another 45 minutes.

All in all, good trip. But now I need to go take some NyQuil and catch up on sleep. (…And consider packing ice and an oxygen tank next time I take a Russian train.)

russian food, part three

This post isn’t actually about Russian food. It is, rather, about the food Katie eats in Russia.

Anticipatory apology to my parents/anyone who feels invested in my wellbeing. You may want to skip this post.

My day begins with breakfast, a maximum of 6 minutes after I roll out of bed in the morning. Yes, my metabolism is overactive.

Breakfast consists of a combination of cornflakes/granola and yogurt/milk. The four options afforded by this graph are way too overwhelming, so I usually have only one product of each category in my room at a time. Right now, though, I have cornflakes AND granola. This means I actually have to think in the mornings.

If my milk-product-of-the-week has gone bad unexpectedly (which happens, since the yogurt I buy has a 5-day lifespan, and the milk is only drinkable for 3 days before it becomes… well… edible), I eat bread with cheese or an apple instead.

At some point between breakfast and lunch, I eat an apple, a mandarin, or salted peanuts.

For lunch, I sometimes eat at the school cafeteria, but more often I eat open-faced sandwiches and veggies. Some examples from the past week:

I don’t require a lot of variety in my diet, but what I do comes in the choice of bread (brown or white?) and vegetable (pepper or tomato? or fruit?? wow). I can also choose my cheese/meat, but I tend to only buy one package of meat and one of cheese at a time, for minimum food waste.

Then, between lunch and dinner, I eat another apple or a pirozhok, usually while walking from one class to another. When it’s cold out, this results in blue hands, but it’s worth it for a full stomach.

For dinner, it often happens that I am fed by well-meaning Russian friends (“Do you eat, ever? Here, have this 5-egg omelet”). This is awesome, even if sometimes it results in overstuffing. These meals do not always include the quantity of vegetable matter I myself would choose, but they fill me up and make me feel like a real human. For all the other days, there’s “rabbit food.” This is a dish that consists of lentils, barley, onion, and garlic, which I make every so often and can last me up to one week in the fridge, or two in the freezer. For fun, I add cut-up veggies, cheese, spices, and/or olive oil.

My rabbit food elicits various reactions that all carry the same tone of judgment… “That can’t taste good.” “Is that your dinner?” “Are you on a diet??” The answers: “Good enough.” “Yes, it is.” “ No, I’m not .” The reasoning behind this dish is simple. I eat in order to not be hungry, and to give my body the nutrients it needs. This meal fills me up, and it covers most of the major food groups (protein, carb, dairy, veggie, fat). Plus I only have to prepare it once a week. AND it travels nicely. Win-win-win-win. Highly recommend.

Then, before bed, I usually end up eating bread with butter, olive oil, or peanut butter, or a few slices of cheese.

So this is my average pattern. However, sometimes I feel inspired (read: have guests) and make actual food (this happens about once every 7-10 days). “Actual food” still usually comes in the form of a single dish, because I can’t quite get my head around planning separate parts to a meal. This could mean fried rice, potatoes with some onion-apple-pork stirfry splotched on top, or any of the following…

I AM a real person! I CAN cook! Sort of.

What I have been doing a lot of recently is baking. Russians love American baked goods… I mean, how would you feel if you encountered brownies for the first time at 56? Or even 23? I’ve gained myself a reputation as a baker, which is hilarious, since I hate making things precisely by recipes (as may be inferred by my choices of savory cooking pictured above). Anyone, especially my sister, could tell you that I have no special gift for pastry. Actually, that’s not entirely true: my special gift is that I am an accomplished googler with an advanced command of the English language. In Russia, that makes all the difference. Here, enjoy pictures…

Not pictured but also popular: pumpkin pie (x4), apple pie (x2), pumpkin chocolate chip bread, brownies (x3 with Snickers, x3 without), chocolate chip cookies (x2), snickerdoodles, honey-egg bread. I need to start remembering to photograph these things.

The takeaway: Mom, I’m getting through just fine, but I’m already excited about the cheeseburger and salad we’re going to have when I get home. T-58 days.

russian food, part two

I love talking about food, therefore we’re going to continue this series a while longer.

This time, I want to talk about Russian food culture. I don’t mean “cultural foods”… I mean the culture  around  foods. Let me begin by describing two typical family meals, one with my family in America, one with my tutor’s family here in Ukhta.

The first scene opens with Mom in the kitchen laying pieces of meat on some sort of plate, Katie putting silverware and napkins on the table, Kristen grabbing the salad dressing (not mayonnaise), and Dad walking to the table from his office. In a minute, the middle of the table is occupied by a large glass bowl of salad (60% romaine lettuce, 10% tomatoes, 10% raw mushrooms, 10% cucumbers, 10% fresh-grated cheddar, 0% mayonnaise ), a platter of italian-marinated grilled chicken breasts, and a basket of bread. Each plate has already been served a helping of rice, because a rice pot on the table is just uncomfortable. Each plate also has standing above it a glass full of cran-apple juice (Dad and Katie) or water (Mom and Kristen). We all sit down together, pray, and begin passing the food around. We discuss our day, the things we did, the people we saw. We eat, really slowly, pausing also to drink at various points in time. When we’ve finished, one of the servants (i.e. Kristen or Katie) takes the dishes to the sink, where they will be washed later. If Dad takes the dishes to the sink, he probably washes them right away. In an hour or two, people begin trickling back to the kitchen to dish themselves a bowl of ice cream, which might be eaten upstairs while working on the computer, downstairs while watching TV, or in the kitchen while staring at a wall. The lights dim, the curtain falls.

The second scene opens with Katie entering a Russian apartment for the fiftieth time this calendar year, taking off her boots, greeting the cat, and beginning to regret wearing a sweater (because it’s 90 degrees in this apartment). Natasha, her tutor, is maybe finishing something in the kitchen, while Natasha’s mom is sitting at the computer playing Solitaire or Mahjong. Katie goes to the kitchen and asks if she can help, at which point she is given a bowl and told to give herself as much soup as she wants. Katie ladles some soup into the bowl and goes to the living room, where a little table has been set with paper-towel-placemats and silverware, along with a bowl of salad (60% cabbage, 10% bell pepper, 10% onion, 10% cucumber, 10% tomatoes, 0% mayonnaise, because they know Katie by now). Natasha comes soon, bringing her own soup. She offers Katie mayonnaise or (because she loves Katie) sour cream for the soup. She asks her mom if she wants anything, to which her mom says (for the fiftieth time this calendar year), “No I don’t want to, I just ate.” Natasha and Katie eat soup, during which time they talk and Natasha’s mom chides her for talking and not letting Katie eat. Then Natasha disappears into the kitchen and reappears with two plates of mashed potatoes and cutlets . After these have been eaten, Natasha takes the plates to the kitchen and reappears with cups, two kettles, and a tiny teapot. The tiny teapot is full of zavarka , which basically translates to “incredibly strong tea.” The kettles have, respectively,  kipiatok (boiled water) and  kholodnyy kipiatok (cold boiled water), for the watering down of the zavarka . Tea is consumed with chocolate, store-bought cupcakes that sometimes taste heavenly and other times taste like cardboard, or buttered bread with cheese . After tea, the cups and teapot are left on the table, because in an hour or two we’ll probably have second tea. Exit Stage Left. etc.

So, you’ll notice one thing right away: Russian mealtimes are very structured. One does not eat the hot food (usually called the  vtoroe , or “second”) before the soup, or tea before the  vtoroe . Meanwhile in America, all of the food is on the table at the same time, and you eat as you like. Maybe you want to finish your salad before you start your chicken. Maybe you want to eat one bite of each thing in a circle around your plate. Up to you.

The last difference I’ll note in mealtimes is the expectation here that you would not eat and talk at the same time. That’s probably very mannerly, in fact, now that I think about it. Guess Americans are rude after all.

Another difference in food culture here is that you  do not eat while you walk, unless it’s ice cream. That’s literally the only time it’s okay. For a perpetual eat-and-walk-er, this poses a problem. Not because I’m going to stop my strolls through the park with big crispy apple in hand, but I sometimes get embarrassed feel like I have to hide the apple behind my back when someone approaches me from the front. It’s part of a more leisurely culture, I think, where taking a 3pm tea break is not only normal, it’s expected, and it will probably be extravagant by American Starbucks-to-go standards. Yes, eating on the go can be a purely voluntary activity, especially when the weather is nice and you want to stand outside in the sun, but you don’t smoke, so you need something else to do. But many times I’ve eaten on the go, it’s been because I’m running from one class to another and have barely enough time to get there, let alone eat lunch. Or because I have roughly the metabolism of a butterfly.

The last difference I’ll note is in the conception of portions/types of food necessary to health. Here, I’d say 40% of your diet is easily potatoes. The other 60% is divided between bread + dairy + eggs + fruits + vegetables + meat. Beans and nuts don’t make much of an appearance, and honestly neither do many vegetables. Maybe I’m too much of a southerner to understand how potatoes with cabbage and onion constitute a veggie dish, but… I need crunchy things with bright colors! This is why I carry an apple with me everywhere, to the confusion of my friends. I think the American diet easily comprises a lot more raw vegetable matter, and a lot less starch/dairy than the Russian diet. And yet, somehow, Russians go to America and gain weight, and Americans go to Russia and lose weight. This doesn’t make any sense until you realize that humans are actually phototrophs. This is not a well-known scientific fact, but I’m working on some research right now.

Coming soon: what Katie actually eats!

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We live in the Komi Republic.  The Komi Republic is a federal subject of Russia. The republic is situated to the west of the Ural mountains, in the north-east of the East European Plain. The republic's natural resources include coal, oil, natural gas, gold, diamonds and timber.

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